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My freshman year of college, "Proud FirstGen" t-shirts were being given away in the student center and I picked one up. For all 6 1/2 years I was at Â鶹¹ÙÍø, and now post-graduation, it has been the single most cherished article of clothing that I own. I wear that shirt everywhere- to go to sleep, to the gym, out with friends, etc. My friends often poke fun at me for practically living in it, and I know it seems odd for an adult to have an emotional attachment to a free shirt she got at 18 years old while rushing in-between lectures. That being said, it holds a far deeper meaning for me than that.

To me, being a first-generation student means stepping into unknown territory. For one of a multitude of examples, I filled out FAFSA on my own for six years in a row, and to this day I am still paranoid that I did something incorrectly. Being first generation consisted of a lot of that- just sitting down and figuring it out. Unfortunately that also came with immense pressure. I carried the weight of knowing that failure wasn’t an option- there was very little margin for error, and every decision I made had to be the right one or I would be risking everything my parents worked for. But that’s okay, because while navigating this un-pathed road, I was also clearing the way for those who will come after me.

As cliche as it may sound, my degrees are not just a result of my own efforts. They are built on the opportunities my parents never had and instead passed onto me, and the letters after my name mean nothing without them. At graduation, my mom asked if she could take a picture wearing my cap, and it was then that it occurred to me that that was the first time she had ever worn one. Being first-generation means honoring all the quiet sacrifices my parents made, because despite the all-nighters and cups of coffee, crying over exams and deadlines was a privilege. It meant I was living the dream my parents always wished for me.

So much in life is fleeting and every moment is temporary, but being a first-generation student is something that can never be stripped away from me. That’s why that silly t-shirt means so much to me, and I continue to wear it years after graduating even though it’s become stretched out and the vinyl letters have started to fade. Being first-generation has pushed me to become self-reliant, motivated, and most importantly, appreciative of just how much I have.

Lillian Lu
Physician Assistant